Lets Talk About People

I’m fearless…at least when it comes to anything living. Nonliving things; cars, fire, growing up, those things terrify me. But that’s a story for another time because today I’m focusing on the fearless part.

People have been asking me, and by people I mean voices in my head, how it is that I end up with so many videos/pictures/signatures of “famous” people. The simple answer is this; I ask for them. I walk up to people and say “will you take a picture with me?” I have discovered two simple human truths. One; people usually agree to what you ask and two; people like to be flattered. A compliment followed by a request is a sure way to approach any situation. You’ve been doing it with your parents for years even if you didn’t realize it. Honestly wouldn’t you be more agreeable to taking a picture after someone told you how beautiful/handsome/attractive you are?

This is not to say that I’m trying to take advantage of the people I meet. Compliment, request, leave, repeat aren’t exactly instructions for lasting friendships. It’s a way to get noticed though. This works especially well if included somewhere in the compliment request cycle is a handshake and introduction. You say your name to a person enough times and eventually they will remember it. Once they recognize you then it’s time for the next step.

I would recommend that the next step be connection. Find something that you have in common. This needs to be something beyond the obvious, so not Harry Potter with a Wrockstar, politics with a Representative, or reading with an author. Concentrate on finding something off the beaten path. Talking to a politician about a rugby team you both like, an author about a shared interest in fencing, or a Wrockstar about a secret obsession with Pogs, are more along the lines of what you are looking for.

Naturally this will be something that you have to work towards; since unless you’re a stalker you probably don’t know the off the wall interests of the person in question. Still you can start small. At a concert instead of gushing about the performance (which they know you loved anyway) say something quick about how good it was and then ask a question. People pay more attention when they talk than when they just listen. The nature of the question isn’t really important but you should be able to be more creative than “so what about the weather.” Let them know you’re more than a crazy fan; that you want to know the person.

Obviously this advice isn’t fool proof. Some people are harder to approach than others. Some people really are "stuck up famous", or at the very least too jaded to let down their barriers. I would also recommend looking around you. If you focus all your energy on the stars you miss what’s happening nearer to the earth. That boy you see at all the book signings is actually the publisher’s son. That girl who seems to be in the front row of every concert has known the drummer since they were five. Then there’s that girl who hangs in the back. She doesn’t know anyone but she can play a mean guitar. Everyone has talents; don’t ever forget that. If you start to think too highly of yourself and ignore the “normal” fans (of which you are one by the way) then you will miss out on more than you can know. Think about how desperately you want to be noticed by those “famous” people. Maybe someone is waiting to be noticed by you.

I use this advice, and also my blatant disregard for embarrassment, on a daily basis. I make friends the easiest way I know how. I walk up, shake their hand, give my name, and offer friendship. It’s simple, virtually painless, and there is much more to be gained than can possibly be lost. I live by a simple philosophy; there are no such things as strangers, only friends I haven’t met yet.